Piecing together the puzzle...
So this bad week continues, BUT I'm getting somewhere ...
I finally talk to the friend of mine today who was avoiding me. She apparently thinks I have feelings for her. Ok, now I'm really confused. I've called you a friend and a sister for all this time, you know who I've been in love with seemingly forever, and you still think I have feelings for you? Does that even make sense?
Confused, I talk to another friend who was in the same exact deal with me just last semester.
You know what she says? She said "I know what it is. You're just not like most guys and us women think that we know men and how a man acts if he's interested in you. With you though, its not the case and I didn't realize that at first. You're just a really caring person. Sincerely, and you just have a sincere love for people I think, especially your friends or people you confide in. And we take that the wrong way. You love hard, do you get what I mean? And though your intentions may not be romantic at all, it's seen as that because its so intense and for some people annoying at first. If the person bothers to get to know you a little more they'll see that you're just a loving person, or at least that's what it seems like to me."
Yes! There's someone that finally gets it!
Another friend of mine confirmed the same thing: "You actually care about us. You talk with me all the time, and you ask how I am feeling. So she could be wondering that you like her, b/c we are made to believe that if a guy is that attentive to what's going on in our lives then probably he wants someone other than friendship"
Is that really what happens? Have women really been deceived to the point where they think all men are dogs? We only do nice things for a "reward"?
Another friend suggests so: "But those 'voices' may deem the behavior a certain way, and the situation of a man complimenting her turns into "he came on to me, and wants to have sex with me". Surprise, surprise....every man does not want to have sex with you just b/c he throws you a compliment. But, due to what she's been taught and the way she prolly observes the world, she's looking at a skewed picture." Now we were talking about another situation, but it was related.
So am I getting closer to the truth? I'm losing my female friends because they think I like them? Maybe that's a big part of it, the answer for some situations. It doesn't even begin to explain why my male friendships have been mostly a failure... Maybe I have too many female friendships? I don't know, before college I never really had a close female friend before. Then that all changed sophomore year. Now, that's all I have. Interesting how things change...
Oh well. Here continues this week. Tomorrow I may get back a test that determines whether I keep or drop a class. We will see. At least things are looking a bit clearer now, that I can be thankful for. I've never had so many people tell me that they love me and appreciate me as a friend in one day. I guess I needed that. I still need that hug too... what ever happened to the times when people used to hug you "just because", rather than on a special occasions and between long periods of time when they didn't see you? I don't know...
More to come as the week goes by...
I finally talk to the friend of mine today who was avoiding me. She apparently thinks I have feelings for her. Ok, now I'm really confused. I've called you a friend and a sister for all this time, you know who I've been in love with seemingly forever, and you still think I have feelings for you? Does that even make sense?
Confused, I talk to another friend who was in the same exact deal with me just last semester.
You know what she says? She said "I know what it is. You're just not like most guys and us women think that we know men and how a man acts if he's interested in you. With you though, its not the case and I didn't realize that at first. You're just a really caring person. Sincerely, and you just have a sincere love for people I think, especially your friends or people you confide in. And we take that the wrong way. You love hard, do you get what I mean? And though your intentions may not be romantic at all, it's seen as that because its so intense and for some people annoying at first. If the person bothers to get to know you a little more they'll see that you're just a loving person, or at least that's what it seems like to me."
Yes! There's someone that finally gets it!
Another friend of mine confirmed the same thing: "You actually care about us. You talk with me all the time, and you ask how I am feeling. So she could be wondering that you like her, b/c we are made to believe that if a guy is that attentive to what's going on in our lives then probably he wants someone other than friendship"
Is that really what happens? Have women really been deceived to the point where they think all men are dogs? We only do nice things for a "reward"?
Another friend suggests so: "But those 'voices' may deem the behavior a certain way, and the situation of a man complimenting her turns into "he came on to me, and wants to have sex with me". Surprise, surprise....every man does not want to have sex with you just b/c he throws you a compliment. But, due to what she's been taught and the way she prolly observes the world, she's looking at a skewed picture." Now we were talking about another situation, but it was related.
So am I getting closer to the truth? I'm losing my female friends because they think I like them? Maybe that's a big part of it, the answer for some situations. It doesn't even begin to explain why my male friendships have been mostly a failure... Maybe I have too many female friendships? I don't know, before college I never really had a close female friend before. Then that all changed sophomore year. Now, that's all I have. Interesting how things change...
Oh well. Here continues this week. Tomorrow I may get back a test that determines whether I keep or drop a class. We will see. At least things are looking a bit clearer now, that I can be thankful for. I've never had so many people tell me that they love me and appreciate me as a friend in one day. I guess I needed that. I still need that hug too... what ever happened to the times when people used to hug you "just because", rather than on a special occasions and between long periods of time when they didn't see you? I don't know...
More to come as the week goes by...
But whatever you do, please don't change who you are!! We Females, just have to learn that their are Good MEN out there!!!!
- Inflamedkitty
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