I sing a simple song of loveTo my Savior, to my Jesus.I'm grateful for the things You've done,My loving Savior, my precious Jesus.My heart is glad that You've called me Your own.There's no place I'd rather be thanIn Your arms of love,In Your arms of love.Holding me still, holding me near,In Your arms of love.
We've all heard that phrase before, right? But what happens when that light passes you by? Whenever I hear that phrase, I always envision myself waiting for a train. Ah yes, those days when I was running late for school and I kept looking down the tunnel. Looking, looking, looking... and then.... wait, is that it? Yes, that's a 5 train! (Express train). I might not be late for school today! Yeah, I looked down the tunnel, saw the light, squinted to see whether it was a 2 or a 5 train, and was happy when I saw it was a 5 train. Afraid of being late, getting anxious, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The train came to a stop, I got on, and it took me to my destination.But have you ever had those times when the train just sped by without stopping at your station? That makes me SO angry!!!!! 
The horn blows and the train just keeps going at full speed. That's what some of the people in my life have been like. Its like, you see the light at the end of the tunnel, and then they just speed on by. Why does this exactly happen? I mean, I guess its part of growing pains, but why so much? There are so many different trials and tribulations you can go through, why am I going through so much of the same kind? Why is it that people just speed by without getting to know me? They hear something from someone or they see one thing, jump on it, and never give me a chance? I know this happens to everyone, but why does it seem to happen to me all the time? Makes me wonder sometimes...What really sucks sometimes is the situation where you are late, you're running down the stairs and the train is right there! You swipe your MetroCard, run to the train, only to have it shut in your face! Sometimes you get there just in time to grab the door as it's about to close, but the train driver won't budge, and won't re-open the door so you can get in! That's the one that really hurts.Recently the people in my life have been moreso like this second case. Just out of the blue. No provocation, nothing. Its always the least expected too. You know, those "friendships" that are supposed to be solid, but don't really seem all that solid anymore? Do you know what its like to have a guy just out of the blue say to you "I don't want to speak to you anymore" and then you ask why and they say "Just don't, no real reason." 
Or how about this other one: Do you know what its like to hear someone say "I've been annoyed with you, so I've been avoiding you." You ask why, and they say "I don't really know." Do you know what that feels like? It makes literally no sense. I mean, you tell that person all the stuff that's happened to you in the past, how lonely you feel sometimes; you're there for them through thick and thin helping them through their battles and then they still just leave. For no reason. No matter how early I get up in the morning, no matter what time I arrive, I always just miss the train... and the conductor ignores my pleas to re-open the door.
This stuff just constantly goes on and on, and I guess I'm supposed to just brush it off. Maybe these people are holding back their true feelings because they don't want to hurt me? But still, I can't remember the last time I hurt a friend. I always give those I really love my very best. I expect them to tell me if I hurt them.
This reminds me of a girl I knew in 9th grade. We were cool, used to walk home together all the time. One day, I say hi, and she doesn't respond. 
(Yes, you know what's coming next.). So this continues for a few days, to which I finally get through to her and ask her "Why haven't you been talking to me?" and she says "You know why". (Ha! You thought you knew what she was going to say 
). This has been going on up to today. She graduated, it was the same. I finally saw her this spring break, and it was still the same! I have no clue what I did to this girl, but she just doesn't like me anymore, she doesn't want to talk to me. I've racked my brain plenty of times since the 9th grade trying to figure it out. I still haven't gotten anywhere with it. I liked her, treated her with the utmost respect, walked her home when it was dark, bought stuff for her (with the little money I had), and yet, just out of nowhere, she stops speaking to me.
Why is this happening again? Why do the same exact things happen over and over and over and over... I mean, I think whatever happens we should forgive each other. That is what Jesus wants, right? If I did something to hurt the person, and they didn't want to talk to me anymore because of it, I could sympathize with them. I wouldn't agree with it, but at least I could understand. This madness about just dropping me for no reason however is just ridiculous. And its not like I'm hanging out with useless riff-raff that have no class. These are strong Christians who I respect that are doing this 
.
Then again, I guess what I've learned recently is that I may not need them anymore. God gives us what we need. Their time in my life is over apparently. For one, that may very well be the truth. She will be physically leaving in months and I may never see her again in my lifetime. I guess this time just came sooner rather than later. Just bothers me though, someone so spiritual, so loving, who was there for me all the time, leaves for no reason. I don't get it.
But then again, its times like these that you appreciate the trains that stop for you and let you get on. That take you to your destination safely. I'm appreciative for those people in my life that are there for me no matter what. They don't just bug out on me for no reason at all... usually I have to get on their nerves to do that 
. My true lights at the end of the tunnel.
I'm tired though, so I'm going to bed. Prayer is all that I have in a situation like this, because trying to understand on my own isn't helping. Trying to understand didn't back in the 9th grade, and it isn't going to help now; only prayer can help. So tonight I'm going to spend sometime with my true Best Friend. No offense to you miss 
, you know I still love you, but His name is Jesus. I am going to just pray tonight for patience and guidance from God, because technically I don't need to understand, I just need to listen and obey. If I had obeyed, by now I would have listened to these words and be out of here...
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
- 1 Peter 5:7
- I'm Preventer Wind
- From Clarkson University, New York, United States
- I was born and raised in Brooklyn, for the most part. My parents sent me to live in Barbados when I was 5 and brought me back here 2 months before I was going to turn 8. I was fairly intelligent, until I came to Clarkson :-P. My grades went south, but I refuse to give up!
As hard as things get in life (and things have gotten plenty hard in mine), I have learned not to give up, but to keep faith in Jesus who I gave my life to at the age of 13. And no, my parents didn't make me. I made that decision on my own. They never once even suggested that I get saved. I chose to with my own contrite heart. So above all else, Jesus comes first in my life.
So I'm a cool guy, I love everyone, dislike no one, but I HATE to be annoyed! (You're entitled to hate me all you want, but please don't aggrevate me! ) I'm a huge sports fan! Even though I'm pretty knowledgeable in sports, all my favorite teams stink (Raiders, Kings, Mets). Other than that, I'm pretty much game to do anything that's at least permissable by God.
So what else is there to know about me? Read the rest of my profile!
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